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标题: 七律 和铿锵居士【咏鹰】(一东） [打印本页]
作者: 柳浪闻莺    时间: 2010-12-25 10:12
标题: 七律 和铿锵居士【咏鹰】(一东）
<p><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt" XMLANG="EN-US"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times new=" new="new" mso-hansi-font-family: roman?? ?Times roman?; new?>七律</span> <span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times new=" new="new" mso-hansi-font-family: roman?? ?Times roman?; new?>和铿锵居士【咏鹰】(一东）</span></span></p>
<p><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt" XMLANG="EN-US"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times new=" new="new" mso-hansi-font-family: roman?? ?Times roman?; new?>天生血统是枭雄，利爪金瞳羽带风。</span></span></p>
<p><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times new=" new="new" mso-hansi-font-family: roman?? ?Times roman?; new?>旋影尤能惊野兔，掠梢足可吓鸡童。</span></p>
<p><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times new=" new="new" mso-hansi-font-family: roman?? ?Times roman?; new?>老夫怒目擒来处，若个惊魂技未穷。</span></p>
<p><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times new=" new="new" mso-hansi-font-family: roman?? ?Times roman?; new?>偶借低枝磨钝喙，犹开睡眼向长空。</span></p>
<p> <wbr></p>
<p><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times new=" new="new" mso-hansi-font-family: roman?? ?Times roman?; new?>附：铿锵居士原玉：</span></p>
<p><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times new=" new="new" mso-hansi-font-family: ?Times roman?; new? Ar-sA? mso-bidi-language: ZH-Cn; mso-fareast-language: en-Us; mso-ansi-language: 1.0pt; mso-font-kerning: mso-bidi-font-family:>都山鸟类有枭雄，凛凛威威霸气浓。</span></p>
<p><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times new=" new="new" mso-hansi-font-family: ?Times roman?; new? Ar-sA? mso-bidi-language: ZH-Cn; mso-fareast-language: en-Us; mso-ansi-language: 1.0pt; mso-font-kerning: mso-bidi-font-family:>亮相常能惊小兽；提名偶可哄孩童。</span></p>
<p><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times new=" new="new" mso-hansi-font-family: ?Times roman?; new? Ar-sA? mso-bidi-language: ZH-Cn; mso-fareast-language: en-Us; mso-ansi-language: 1.0pt; mso-font-kerning: mso-bidi-font-family:>生则啸傲翔云路；死亦扶摇上九重。</span></p>
<p><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times new=" new="new" mso-hansi-font-family: ?Times roman?; new? Ar-sA? mso-bidi-language: ZH-Cn; mso-fareast-language: en-Us; mso-ansi-language: 1.0pt; mso-font-kerning: mso-bidi-font-family:>尽管形神各有异，苍鹰共性喜凌空。</span></p>
[此贴子已经被作者于2010-12-26 16:20:30编辑过]
作者: 白雪仙子    时间: 2010-12-25 19:11
<p><font size=\"4\"><span lang=\"EN-US\" style=\"FONT-SIZE: 16pt\" XMLANG=\"EN-US\"><span style=\"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: \'Times new=\" roman?? new=\"new\" ?Times mso-hansi-font-family: roman?; new?>天生血统是枭雄，利爪金瞳羽带风。------</span></span>起联很有气势</font></p><span style=\"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: \'Times new=\" roman?? new=\"new\" ?Times mso-hansi-font-family: roman?; new?><font size=\"4\">
<p><span style=\"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: \'Times new=\" roman?? new=\"new\" ?Times mso-hansi-font-family: roman?; new?>旋影尤能惊野兔，掠梢足可吓鸡童。------承的还算稳妥</span></p>
<p><span style=\"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: \'Times new=\" roman?? new=\"new\" ?Times mso-hansi-font-family: roman?; new?>老夫怒目擒来处，若个惊魂技未穷。------转联修改了比原来好了不少</span></p></font></span>
<p><span style=\"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: \'Times new=\" roman?? new=\"new\" ?Times mso-hansi-font-family: roman?; new?><font size=\"4\">偶借低枝磨钝喙，犹开睡眼向云空。-----尾联略觉力弱</font></span></p>
<p><span style=\"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: \'Times new=\" roman?? new=\"new\" ?Times mso-hansi-font-family: roman?; new?><font size=\"4\"></font></span> </p>
<p><font size=\"4\"> </font><wbr></p>
作者: 诗酒当歌    时间: 2010-12-26 01:06
<p><span style=\"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: \'Times new=\" roman?? new=\"new\" ?Times mso-hansi-font-family: roman?; new?>偶借低枝磨钝喙，犹开睡眼向云空。</span></p>
<p> </p>
<p>独喜尾联</p>
作者: 梅影点点    时间: 2010-12-26 09:25
<p><span style=\"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: \'Times new=\" roman?? new=\"new\" ?Times mso-hansi-font-family: roman?; new?>偶借低枝磨钝喙，犹开睡眼向云空。也赏尾联，“云空”换“长空”如何，意境是否更开阔一些？</span></p>
作者: 柳浪闻莺    时间: 2010-12-26 16:13
<div class=\"quote\"><b>以下是引用<i>白雪仙子</i>在2010-12-25 19:11:08的发言：</b><br/>
<p><font size=\"4\"><span lang=\"EN-US\" style=\"FONT-SIZE: 16pt\" XMLANG=\"EN-US\"><span style=\"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: \'Times new=\" new=\"new\" mso-hansi-font-family: roman?? ?Times roman?; new?>天生血统是枭雄，利爪金瞳羽带风。------</span></span>起联很有气势</font></p><span style=\"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: \'Times new=\" new=\"new\" mso-hansi-font-family: roman?? ?Times roman?; new?><font size=\"4\">
<p><span style=\"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: \'Times new=\" new=\"new\" mso-hansi-font-family: roman?? ?Times roman?; new?>旋影尤能惊野兔，掠梢足可吓鸡童。------承的还算稳妥</span></p>
<p><span style=\"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: \'Times new=\" new=\"new\" mso-hansi-font-family: roman?? ?Times roman?; new?>老夫怒目擒来处，若个惊魂技未穷。------转联修改了比原来好了不少</span></p></font></span>
<p><span style=\"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: \'Times new=\" new=\"new\" mso-hansi-font-family: roman?? ?Times roman?; new?><font size=\"4\">偶借低枝磨钝喙，犹开睡眼向云空。-----尾联略觉力弱</font></span></p>
<p><span style=\"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: \'Times new=\" new=\"new\" mso-hansi-font-family: roman?? ?Times roman?; new?><font size=\"4\"></font></span> </p>
<p><font size=\"4\"> </font><wbr></p></div>
<p> 谢谢仙子版主点评，先问好！祝圣诞快乐！呵呵，颈联比原来好点也好不了哪去，实在是凑不出来啦，只好先对付两句占地方啊。我再慢慢琢磨。</p>
作者: 柳浪闻莺    时间: 2010-12-26 16:15
<div class=\"quote\"><b>以下是引用<i>诗酒当歌</i>在2010-12-26 1:06:50的发言：</b><br/>
<p><span style=\"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: \'Times new=\" new=\"new\" mso-hansi-font-family: roman?? ?Times roman?; new?>偶借低枝磨钝喙，犹开睡眼向云空。</span></p>
<p> </p>
<p>独喜尾联</p></div>
<p>  谢谢诗酒版主点评，问好！祝圣诞快乐！容我再慢慢琢磨修改。</p>
作者: 柳浪闻莺    时间: 2010-12-26 16:19
<div class=\"quote\"><b>以下是引用<i>梅影点点</i>在2010-12-26 9:25:09的发言：</b><br/>
<p><span style=\"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: \'Times new=\" new=\"new\" mso-hansi-font-family: roman?? ?Times roman?; new?>偶借低枝磨钝喙，犹开睡眼向云空。也赏尾联，“云空”换“长空”如何，意境是否更开阔一些？</span></p></div>
<p> 谢谢点点，问好！祝圣诞快乐！“长空”确实比“云空”要好很多。等下改过来。谢谢润笔。呵呵，有机会请好友吃大餐。</p>
作者: 青山依旧    时间: 2010-12-26 18:14
<p>最喜结句，如此，则金瞳可酌。且瞳与风撞韵。</p>
<p> </p>



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