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标题: [原创]学车两首（飘红其一） [打印本页]
作者: 俏景    时间: 2011-1-13 21:48
标题: [原创]学车两首（飘红其一）
  
<p class="MsoNormal" style="TEXT-INDENT: 71.95pt; TEXT-ALIGN: left; mso-char-indent-count: 4.48; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-outline-level: 4" align="left"><b><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: #8148ab; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: Verdana; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt">学车即事 <span lang="EN-US"><?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-comfficeffice" /><o:p></o:p></span></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 7.5pt 0cm; LINE-HEIGHT: 160%; TEXT-ALIGN: left; mso-pagination: widow-orphan" align="left"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: purple; LINE-HEIGHT: 160%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">莫言好胜爱争强，欲驾私车游四方。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: #666666; LINE-HEIGHT: 160%; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 7.5pt 0cm; LINE-HEIGHT: 160%; TEXT-ALIGN: left; mso-pagination: widow-orphan" align="left"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: purple; LINE-HEIGHT: 160%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">离合欺生常错档，油门暴燥易违章。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: #666666; LINE-HEIGHT: 160%; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 7.5pt 0cm; LINE-HEIGHT: 160%; TEXT-ALIGN: left; mso-pagination: widow-orphan" align="left"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: purple; LINE-HEIGHT: 160%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">每逢烟雨思宁静，偶</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: purple; LINE-HEIGHT: 160%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">带</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: purple; LINE-HEIGHT: 160%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">云霞意不狂。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: #666666; LINE-HEIGHT: 160%; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 7.5pt 0cm; LINE-HEIGHT: 160%; TEXT-ALIGN: left; mso-pagination: widow-orphan" align="left"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: purple; LINE-HEIGHT: 160%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">一段情缘心语后，屈尊俯首伴徐娘。<span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 7.5pt 0cm; TEXT-INDENT: 36pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 160%; TEXT-ALIGN: left; mso-char-indent-count: 2.24; mso-pagination: widow-orphan" align="left"><b><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: maroon; LINE-HEIGHT: 160%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: Verdana">庚寅年岁末获得驾照戏作</span></b><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: maroon; LINE-HEIGHT: 160%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: Verdana; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 7.5pt 0cm; LINE-HEIGHT: 160%; TEXT-ALIGN: left; mso-pagination: widow-orphan" align="left"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: maroon; LINE-HEIGHT: 160%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt">徐娘终配少年郎，几许欢欣与恐慌。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: #666666; LINE-HEIGHT: 160%; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 7.5pt 0cm; LINE-HEIGHT: 160%; TEXT-ALIGN: left; mso-pagination: widow-orphan" align="left"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: maroon; LINE-HEIGHT: 160%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt">举足可超千里马，安居不惯土坯房。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: #666666; LINE-HEIGHT: 160%; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 7.5pt 0cm; LINE-HEIGHT: 160%; TEXT-ALIGN: left; mso-pagination: widow-orphan" align="left"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: maroon; LINE-HEIGHT: 160%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt">英姿<span style="LETTER-SPACING: 0.4pt">威武惹</span>人慕，生性率直招祸殃。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: #666666; LINE-HEIGHT: 160%; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 7.5pt 0cm; LINE-HEIGHT: 160%; TEXT-ALIGN: left; mso-pagination: widow-orphan" align="left"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: maroon; LINE-HEIGHT: 160%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt">若到黄昏心倦怠，孰悲孰喜费思量。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: #666666; LINE-HEIGHT: 160%; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
[此贴子已经被司马长风于2011-1-13 22:05:15编辑过]
作者: 司马长风    时间: 2011-1-13 22:04
<p><font color=\"#0000ff\" size=\"3\">其一胜于其二。<br/>其一首句“好胜、争强”义同，不甚精练；且争强好胜与学车并无必然联系。中二联甚佳，对仗工稳，章法井然，结得蕴藉。<br/>其二首联心理描写甚佳，颔联下句似凑，且“千里马、土坯房”只算宽对，不工。后二联语出不吉，宜改之。<br/></font></p>
<p><font color=\"#0000ff\" size=\"3\">飘红其一。</font></p>
作者: 俏景    时间: 2011-1-13 22:24
谢司马首版点评与鼓励。俏景也曾考虑过首句“好胜、争强”义同，不甚精练之处，只是这两篇是围绕已是“徐娘”的我学车为旨意，因学车的经历及感悟有其特殊性。由此重点强调不是因”好胜与争强”，并引出第二首后二联不吉之语。再谢司马首版。
作者: 明月诗心    时间: 2011-1-14 15:23
<p style=\"TEXT-ALIGN: left; LINE-HEIGHT: 160%; MARGIN: 7.5pt 0cm; mso-pagination: widow-orphan\" class=\"MsoNormal\" align=\"left\"><span style=\"LINE-HEIGHT: 160%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; COLOR: purple; FONT-SIZE: 16pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体\">每逢烟雨思宁静，偶</span><span style=\"LINE-HEIGHT: 160%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; COLOR: purple; FONT-SIZE: 16pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial\">带</span><span style=\"LINE-HEIGHT: 160%; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; COLOR: purple; FONT-SIZE: 16pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体\">云霞意不狂。</span><span style=\"LINE-HEIGHT: 160%; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; COLOR: #666666; FONT-SIZE: 16pt; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体\" lang=\"EN-US\"><?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = \"urn:schemas-microsoft-comfficeffice\" /><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p>坦然自若！</p>
作者: 青山依旧    时间: 2011-1-15 13:31
<p align=\"left\">徐娘终配少年郎，几许欢欣与恐慌。</p>
<p> </p>
<p>初获驾照的心态毕现。楼主好功夫！</p>



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