中华国风文学论坛
标题:
七律?《梦江南》
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作者:
柳浪闻莺
时间:
2009-11-5 07:39
标题:
七律?《梦江南》
<p> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-font-kerning: 0pt"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></span><span style="COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">七律</span><span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: navy">?</span><span style="COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">《梦江南》</span><span style="COLOR: navy"> <span lang="EN-US"><?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com
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ffice" /><o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: navy"> </span><span style="COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">梦里兰舟枕上游,一钩新月挂闲愁。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: navy"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: navy"> </span><span style="COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">凄风肆虐花溪乱,细雨温柔古径幽。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: navy"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: navy"> </span><span style="COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">晓雾飞云人醉阁,夕霞落鹜燕思楼。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: navy"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: navy"> </span><span style="COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New="New" Roman'">江南又带芳菲眼,昨日王孙逝水流。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: navy"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="COLOR: navy"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
作者:
又是秋色
时间:
2009-11-5 12:15
还是觉得起的不错!略感整诗意象乱一点, <span style=\"COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: \'Times new=\" Roman?? new=\"New\" ?Times mso-hansi-font-family: Roman?; New?>江南又带芳菲眼</span>---此句不解。问好!
作者:
张嗣唯
时间:
2009-11-5 17:24
<p><span style=\"COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: \'Times new=\" New? mso-hansi-font-family: ?Times Roman?; new=\"New\" Roman??>梦里兰舟枕上游,一钩新月挂闲愁。</span></p>
<p><span style=\"COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: \'Times new=\" New? mso-hansi-font-family: ?Times Roman?; new=\"New\" Roman??><span style=\"COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: \'Times new=\" New? mso-hansi-font-family: ?Times Roman?; new=\"New\" Roman??>舟 、 游,钩 、 愁。</span></span></p>
作者:
锄月花樵
时间:
2009-11-5 18:11
附议二楼。<span style=\"COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: \'Times new=\" New? mso-hansi-font-family: ?Times Roman?; new=\"New\" Roman??>梦里兰舟枕上游,一钩新月挂闲愁。首联极佳!</span>
作者:
一行白鹭
时间:
2009-11-5 18:31
唯“<span style=\"FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; COLOR: navy; mso-ascii-font-family: \'Times new=\" Roman?? new=\"New\" ?Times mso-hansi-font-family: Roman?; New?>凄风肆虐花溪乱</span>”不喜欢,既然是细雨温柔,用“凄风肆虐”就不怎么合适了。
作者:
柳浪闻莺
时间:
2009-11-6 02:21
呵呵,江南又带芳菲眼,是我自己瞎编的,我看杜工部有花经眼之说,故仿之。也不知道妥不妥。
作者:
柳浪闻莺
时间:
2009-11-6 02:25
一行白鹭老师讲的极是,此句确实不好。我再琢磨改一下。诚谢又是秋色,一行白路,锄月花樵,顽石,张嗣唯老师点评!问好!
[此贴子已经被作者于2009-11-06 02:30:45编辑过]
作者:
司马长风
时间:
2009-11-6 09:27
<div class=\"quote\"><b>以下是引用<i>一行白鹭</i>在2009-11-05 18:31:24的发言:</b><br/>唯“<span style=\"COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: \'Times new=\" Roman?? ?Times mso-hansi-font-family: Roman?; New? new=\"New\">凄风肆虐花溪乱</span>”不喜欢,既然是细雨温柔,用“凄风肆虐”就不怎么合适了。 </div>
<p>按我个人的理解,此诗非写一时一处之景,所以上下两句其实并不矛盾。只是一说到江南,人们的印象中总是柳暗花明、草长莺飞、和风细雨,已形成了审美定势,所以“凄风肆虐”之语美感不足,也与全诗格调不谐。</p>
作者:
司马长风
时间:
2009-11-6 09:57
<div class=\"quote\"><b>以下是引用<i>锄月花樵</i>在2009-11-05 18:11:33的发言:</b><br/>附议二楼。<span style=\"COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: \'Times new=\" Roman?? ?Times mso-hansi-font-family: Roman?; New? new=\"New\">梦里兰舟枕上游,一钩新月挂闲愁。首联极佳!</span> </div>
<p>再附议。</p>
作者:
司马长风
时间:
2009-11-6 11:24
<div class=\"quote\"><b>以下是引用<i>张嗣唯</i>在2009-11-05 17:24:06的发言:</b><br/>
<p><span style=\"COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: \'Times new=\" Roman?? ?Times mso-hansi-font-family: Roman?; New? new=\"New\">梦里兰舟枕上游,一钩新月挂闲愁。</span></p>
<p><span style=\"COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: \'Times new=\" Roman?? ?Times mso-hansi-font-family: Roman?; New? new=\"New\"><span style=\"COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: \'Times new=\" Roman?? ?Times mso-hansi-font-family: Roman?; New? new=\"New\">舟 、 游,钩 、 愁。</span></span></p></div>
<p><font color=\"#0000ff\" size=\"4\">诗兄苛求了。就这两句而言,虽用了四个同韵字,读起来并无拗口或拖沓之感,反觉婉转多情,余音缭绕。其实在古人诗中,用同音同韵字的情况比比皆是。如杜牧“蓝<font color=\"#ff0000\">田</font>日暖玉生<font color=\"#ff0000\">烟</font>、小<font color=\"#ff0000\">姑</font>居处本<font color=\"#ff0000\">无</font>郎”;贺知章“<font color=\"#ff0000\">少小</font>离家<font color=\"#ff0000\">老</font>大回”;杜甫“岐<font color=\"#ff0000\">王</font>宅里寻<font color=\"#ff0000\">常</font>见”;韩?“碧阑干外绣帘垂,<font color=\"#ff0000\">猩</font>色<font color=\"#ff0000\">屏</font>风画折枝”;薛逢“水滴<font color=\"#ff0000\">铜龙</font><font color=\"#ff0000\">昼漏</font>长”;郑畋“终<font color=\"#ff0000\">是</font>圣明天<font color=\"#ff0000\">子事</font>,<font color=\"#ff0000\">景</font>阳宫<font color=\"#ff0000\">井</font>又何人”;张祜“<font color=\"#ff0000\">金</font>陵<font color=\"#ff0000\">津</font>渡小山楼”;无名氏《杂诗》:“等<font color=\"#ff0000\">是</font>有家归<font color=\"#ff0000\">未</font>得,杜<font color=\"#ff0000\">鹃</font>休向耳<font color=\"#ff0000\">边</font>啼”;陈陶“可<font color=\"#ff0000\">怜</font>无定河<font color=\"#ff0000\">边</font>骨,犹<font color=\"#ff0000\">是</font>春闺梦<font color=\"#ff0000\">里</font>人”......能记起来的只有这些了。这都出自《唐诗三百首》,都说“熟读唐诗三百首,不会吟诗也会吟”,作为流传最广的唐诗选本,不知诗兄读时,感觉如何?</font></p>
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