五绝*盼郎归

雾灵绝顶

<span class="Apple-style-span" style="WORD-SPACING: 0px; FONT: medium="medium"  =" medium?=" medium? 0px? webkit-text-stroke-width: auto; webkit-text-size-adjust: none; webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: 0px; webkit-border-vertical-spacing: webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2; widows: orphans: separate; BORDER-COLLAPSE: normal; LETTER-SPACING: WHITE-SPACE: TEXT-INDENT: rgb(0,0,0); COLOR: TEXT-TRANSFORM: Simsun;>&#13;&#10;<div style=" 0px; normal; WORD-WRAP: important; 0px! break-word? LINE-HEIGHT: bold; FONT-WEIGHT: =" 0px; COLOR: initial? webkit-background-origin: initial; webkit-background-clip: break-word; WORD-WRAP: important; 0px! BORDER-RIGHT-WIDTH: left; TEXT-ALIGN: rgb(255,255,255); BACKGROUND-COLOR: PADDING-TOP: rgb(68,68,68); sans-serif; Arial, Helvetica, Verdana, 1.6em 12px?><span style=" 12px="12px" FONT: MARGIN: PADDING-BOTTOM: BORDER-BOTTOM-WIDTH: BORDER-LEFT-WIDTH: PADDING-LEFT: PADDING-RIGHT: BORDER-TOP-WIDTH:><span style="FONT-SIZE: 24px; COLOR: rgb(204,0,153); LINE-HEIGHT: 1.8em; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; WORD-WRAP: break-word"><strong>盼郎归</strong></span><wbr style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; WORD-WRAP: break-word"></span><wbr style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; WORD-WRAP: break-word"><font face="楷体_GB2312"><font style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; WORD-WRAP: break-word" color="#5e4830"><strong><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span><br style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; WORD-WRAP: break-word"/></strong></font><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; LINE-HEIGHT: normal; WORD-WRAP: break-word"><wbr style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; WORD-WRAP: break-word"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 24px; COLOR: rgb(204,0,153); LINE-HEIGHT: 1.8em; FONT-FAMILY: 楷体_GB2312; WORD-WRAP: break-word">又绿房前柳，空巢燕子回。近来夫可好，老少盼郎归。</span></span></font>
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[此贴子已经被作者于2010-12-8 13:40:18编辑过]

明月诗心

赞成司马版主意见，前两句好，后两句诗意不够浓，可再提炼。

如琴可听

当前许许多多农民兄弟家庭生活的真实写照！关注生活、关注民生。欣赏！

雾灵绝顶

<font face=\"Verdana\">谢</font><font face=\"Verdana\">如<font face=\"Verdana\">琴</font><font face=\"Verdana\">点<font face=\"Verdana\">评</font>....<font face=\"Verdana\">问</font><font face=\"Verdana\">好</font></font></font>

司马长风

<font color=\"#0000ff\" size=\"3\">前二句起兴甚佳，后半欠精练。“老少”不可呼“郎”。</font>

雾灵绝顶

<font face=\"Verdana\">妻<font face=\"Verdana\">子</font><font face=\"Verdana\">对<font face=\"Verdana\">丈</font><font face=\"Verdana\">夫<font face=\"Verdana\">说</font>.......</font></font></font>

司马长风

<font color=\"#0000ff\" size=\"3\">“郎”可称为“你”，亦可。只是后二句嫌直白，诗味不足。</font>

雾灵绝顶

<font face=\"Verdana\">谢<font face=\"Verdana\">过<font face=\"Verdana\">司</font><font face=\"Verdana\">马<font face=\"Verdana\">点</font><font face=\"Verdana\">拙.....<img src=\"images/post/smile/dvbbs/em27.gif\" /></font></font></font></font>