五律?富锦行

东方晓辉

<div id="paperTitleArea" align="center" 669px; 70px? HEIGHT: no-repeat; BACKGROUND-REPEAT: WIDTH: 65px; MARGIN-LEFT: 35px; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 39960_t5.gif); 8="8" orig="orig" space_item="space_item" qz="qz" url( BACKGROUND-IMAGE: MARGIN-TOP: 50%; center?><span id="paperTitle" style="DISPLAY: block; FONT-WEIGHT: bolder; COLOR: #800080; WORD-BREAK: break-all; PADDING-TOP: 25px"><font face="宋体" color="#800080" size="5">五律?富锦行（新韵）</font> </span></div>
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<div style="TEXT-ALIGN: center"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 24px; COLOR: #0033ff; LINE-HEIGHT: 1.8em">细雨低飞燕，</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 24px; COLOR: #0033ff; LINE-HEIGHT: 1.8em">春风浅绿田。</span></div>
<div style="TEXT-ALIGN: center"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 24px; COLOR: #0033ff; LINE-HEIGHT: 1.8em"></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 24px; COLOR: #0033ff; LINE-HEIGHT: 1.8em">花香醉春意，</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 24px; COLOR: #0033ff; LINE-HEIGHT: 1.8em">残酒驱晓寒。</span><wbr></div>
<div style="TEXT-ALIGN: center"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 24px; COLOR: #0033ff; LINE-HEIGHT: 1.8em">把盏黄昏后，</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 24px; COLOR: #0033ff; LINE-HEIGHT: 1.8em">闲来松水边。</span><wbr></div>
<div style="TEXT-ALIGN: center"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 24px; COLOR: #0033ff; LINE-HEIGHT: 1.8em">深情沃黑土，</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 24px; COLOR: #0033ff; LINE-HEIGHT: 1.8em">大义聚英贤。</span><wbr></div></div>

[此贴子已经被司马长风于2010-8-4 23:52:30编辑过]

东方晓辉

<div class=\"quote\"><b>以下是引用<i>笃志堂主</i>在2010-8-4 10:09:50的发言：</b><br/>
<div style=\"TEXT-ALIGN: center\"><span style=\"FONT-SIZE: 24px; COLOR: #0033ff; LINE-HEIGHT: 1.8em\">花香醉春意，                   </span><wbr></div>
<div style=\"TEXT-ALIGN: center\"><span style=\"FONT-SIZE: 24px; COLOR: #0033ff; LINE-HEIGHT: 1.8em\">残酒怯轻寒。                  </span><wbr></div>
<div style=\"TEXT-ALIGN: center\"><span style=\"FONT-SIZE: 24px; COLOR: #0033ff; LINE-HEIGHT: 1.8em\">独立黄昏后，?两个酒重复</span><wbr></div>
<div style=\"TEXT-ALIGN: center\"><span style=\"FONT-SIZE: 24px; COLOR: #0033ff; LINE-HEIGHT: 1.8em\">闲观松水边。                   </span></div></div>
<p>谢好友用心点评。谢谢。</p>

潇潇一剑

<p><font size=\"4\">这首五律也是，在虚实平仄、对仗结构上可酌处甚多，在下就不再</font></p>
<p><font size=\"4\">一一赘述了。</font></p>

笃志堂主

<div style=\"TEXT-ALIGN: center\"><span style=\"LINE-HEIGHT: 1.8em; COLOR: #0033ff; FONT-SIZE: 24px\">花香醉春意，                   </span><wbr></div>
<div style=\"TEXT-ALIGN: center\"><span style=\"LINE-HEIGHT: 1.8em; COLOR: #0033ff; FONT-SIZE: 24px\">残酒怯轻寒。                  </span><wbr></div>
<div style=\"TEXT-ALIGN: center\"><span style=\"LINE-HEIGHT: 1.8em; COLOR: #0033ff; FONT-SIZE: 24px\">独立黄昏后，?两个酒重复</span><wbr></div>
<div style=\"TEXT-ALIGN: center\"><span style=\"LINE-HEIGHT: 1.8em; COLOR: #0033ff; FONT-SIZE: 24px\">闲观松水边。                   </span></div>

司马长风

<p><font color=\"#0000ff\" size=\"3\">富锦应为黑龙江省佳木斯市所属之县级市。</font></p>
<p><font color=\"#0000ff\" size=\"3\">可酌处确多，且所咏流于表浅，章法亦欠井然。</font></p>

西楼孤灯

诗成必推敲。

白雪仙子

<div class=\"quote\"><b>以下是引用<i>东方晓辉</i>在2010-8-4 0:33:21的发言：</b><br/>
<div id=\"paperTitleArea\" align=\"center\" center? 50%; MARGIN-TOP: BACKGROUND-IMAGE: url( qz=\"qz\" space_item=\"space_item\" orig=\"orig\" 8=\"8\" 39960_t5.gif); MARGIN-BOTTOM: 35px; MARGIN-LEFT: 65px; WIDTH: BACKGROUND-REPEAT: no-repeat; HEIGHT: 70px? 669px;><span id=\"paperTitle\" style=\"DISPLAY: block; FONT-WEIGHT: bolder; COLOR: #800080; WORD-BREAK: break-all; PADDING-TOP: 25px\"><font face=\"宋体\" color=\"#800080\" size=\"5\">五律?富锦行（新韵）</font> </span></div>
<div id=\"blogDetailDiv\" style=\"FONT-SIZE: 16px; COLOR: #800080\">
<div style=\"TEXT-ALIGN: center\"><span style=\"FONT-SIZE: 24px; COLOR: #0033ff; LINE-HEIGHT: 1.8em\">细雨低飞燕，</span><span style=\"FONT-SIZE: 24px; COLOR: #0033ff; LINE-HEIGHT: 1.8em\">春风浅绿田。</span></div>
<div style=\"TEXT-ALIGN: center\"><span style=\"FONT-SIZE: 24px; COLOR: #0033ff; LINE-HEIGHT: 1.8em\"></span><span style=\"FONT-SIZE: 24px; COLOR: #0033ff; LINE-HEIGHT: 1.8em\">花香醉春意，</span><span style=\"FONT-SIZE: 24px; COLOR: #0033ff; LINE-HEIGHT: 1.8em\">残酒驱晓寒。</span><wbr></div>
<div style=\"TEXT-ALIGN: center\"><span style=\"FONT-SIZE: 24px; COLOR: #0033ff; LINE-HEIGHT: 1.8em\">把盏黄昏后，</span><span style=\"FONT-SIZE: 24px; COLOR: #0033ff; LINE-HEIGHT: 1.8em\">闲来松水边。</span><wbr></div>
<div style=\"TEXT-ALIGN: center\"><span style=\"FONT-SIZE: 24px; COLOR: #0033ff; LINE-HEIGHT: 1.8em\">深情沃黑土，</span><span style=\"FONT-SIZE: 24px; COLOR: #0033ff; LINE-HEIGHT: 1.8em\">大义聚英贤。</span><wbr></div></div>
<div align=\"right\"><font color=\"#000066\">[此贴子已经被司马长风于2010-8-4 23:52:30编辑过]</font></div></div>
<p>春字重复，<span style=\"FONT-SIZE: 24px; COLOR: #0033ff; LINE-HEIGHT: 1.8em\">残酒驱晓寒</span>---律不对！</p>
<p>少了一些斟酌！</p>