《菩萨蛮》

晴空

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<p align="center">白苹梦断征帆远<br/>隔江玉笛声声慢<br/>吹皱一江天<br/>凝?两岸烟</p>
<p align="center">樽装窗外月<br/>饮落愁肠结<br/>残夜梦相逢<br/>相思冷处浓</p></font></font></font></span></font></div></div></span></font></font></font></font></font></font></span></font></font></span></blockquote>

啸天

<p>问好晴空，欣赏好诗句：“吹皱一江天，凝?两岸烟 ”“樽装窗外月，饮落愁肠结”。。。</p>
<p>“?”字改为“愁”是不是好些，吟唱也流畅。。有时重字无妨。。</p>

[此贴子已经被作者于2010-11-6 1:08:37编辑过]

一阳居士

上片两仄韵两平韵，下片换两仄韵两平韵，用韵讲究，雅赏！

谊之

残夜梦相逢，相思冷处浓。